When I first started doing this over 2 years ago I thought I had to post every day... and sometimes I'd post 2 or more things in one day... if I missed a day I thought the world was going to end or something. It didn't. I had a long list of blogs I used to visit frequently and I felt I was betraying those people if  I didn't visit daily and comment... now I post when I have something on my mind (and lately that hasn't been too often.. being happy is not conducive to writing here, lol) and my list of blogging friends has been shortened quite a bit, but at least I feel like most of those still on the list are genuine friends, that we've formed some sort of a bond. I don't comment every time I visit someone's space anymore, either... sometimes it's because I don't feel I have anything worth writing, no witty comment, nothing to add to what was written... or I just don't have the time. And I know that the same is true for those who visit here.

It happens. We get caught up in the newness of it all. It's almost like when you first get the internet and you feel like you have to be on the computer all the time. I think most everyone on the internet was at one time addicted, at least a little. And that's what it was like when Ifirst started blogging here. It was new, it was fun, it was addicting...  letting myself believe that I had something to say that was important to someone else. Now I do it because it's important to me. If no one reads it, that's okay. If I only get 10 hits or less a day, that's okay (I think I've only checked my stats maybe 3 times this entire year). If there are no new comments on anything I've written... again, that's okay. And, if I don't post anything for days at a time... it only means nothing of importance has happened in my life and Idon't feel like writing: "today I woke up, I went pee, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair, got dressed, went to work, came home, changed my clothes, watched TV, made dinner, went to bed." which is  pretty much what every day is like... except weekends.. God, I love weekends now!

Okay, now I have to ask y'all: Why isn't anyone else decorating for Halloween yet???  Where are the ghosties and goblins? Have we all become boring old farts??? Come on people! It's almost October 1st! Let's get with the program here!

The boy still needs me. Ah, that does a Mom's heart good.

Girl troubles.

Background: when Alex was in tenth grade he started "going out" with Saira. She's a great girl. A year behind him in school, pretty, extremely friendly.  However, her parents are straight from Pakistan and they... especially her father...  only want Saira to date Pakistani boys. So Alex and Saira had to sneak behind them to see each other. They did that for some nine months. Then, last November,  just before his birthday, Alex broke up with her because he just couldn't handle the sneaking around anymore.  In January he started "going out" with Cayla. She's also nice, smart, funny, pretty. Her parents think the world of Alex. Enough so that he was able to spend the night at her house (staying in the basement) several times. She goes to a different school in a neighboring town. Then, when all the bullshit started with Mr. Wonderful kicking Alex out every other week, she broke up with him (I still stand behind the belief she did it only so it would be easier for Alex to leave Detroit and move here).  Anyhow, almost as soon as Alex got back to Detroit, he and Cayla started seeing each other again. Then, last week he tells me they broke up again. And... cut to the chase.... now he says he thinks he has feelings for Saira again.

I explained to him that it's all probably related to the fact that he's trying to mend fences there, become friends with her again. And now, with the new living arrangement,  he's probably gravitating toward her because she feels familiar and safe.

It was just really nice to have him asking me for advice, wanting to talk to me about how to handle it.

Secretly, I would love it if her parents would concede and let her date Alex. He really is a good kid, and if he wasn't mine I'd wish he was. And I think the world of Saira. Like I told him, she's the girl I compare all his girlfriends to.  I've told her, too, that she's always going to hold a special place in my heart.

I wish every parent could have the relationship with with their kids that I have with him. I wish I had it with my oldest son. We're working on that, though.

So, what's with me? Why do I find it difficult to not do anything? Sure, I can sit around for an hour or two, but I always feel like I have to accomplish something every day. And not just going to work. When I'm home, I truly cannot just sit around and have a "do nothing day". Unless I'm sick, but even then I feel guilty if I've done nothing. It's not like I have to do big projects or anything, sometimes just washing the dishes or doing a load of laundry is enough... as long as I've done something.

Saturday I slept in.. till 7:30. Got up, puttered around for a little bit, then I decided I couldn't stand the way the front patio was looking, so I went out and trimmed the grass around it. That led to trimming around the house, edging the sidewalk. In the midst of this, Bryan decided he wanted a big breakfast. So he went to the store to get some things, cooked us a nice breakfast that was really brunch... when we finished eating, I put the dishes in the sink to soak, thinking I'd wash them when I came inside. Lordy, Lordy, when I came inside... Bryan had washed them!

Sunday I got up, puttered around, then mowed the lawn. Only the parts that needed it, though. Bryan decided it would be a good day to switch the spare room and the den, so he started doing that. I helped a little. Then, half way thru it he had to go over to his dad's house because his oldest son was there to get the other son's car... the car is still there. Then his oldest daughter and her husband came over here. Yay.

Grrr. I'm sure she means well and thinks she's doing him a favor, but it still pisses me off that she thinks she has the right to tell him what he should be doing. She doesn't suggest he do this or that..she pretty much demands that he do whatever it is she's telling him he needs to do. And she thinks she has the right to do that because "it's my little sister and brother!" Whatever... last I knew, they were his children. And despite the fact she tries to deny it, she can't stand that he's with me. Whatever. Get over it and move on. I'm not going anywhere.

Actually, I'm definitely not going anywhere. In fact, the man proposed to me a few weeks ago.. not long after we moved in here. Yes, I accepted. Duh. Yes, there's still that nasty business of me having to get that pesky divorce, but that'll happen before the end of '08. We're pretty much agreed on sometime in October '09.. gives us time to plan, to get finances together, and in the fall it's not too hot or too cold. So, y'all have a couple years to get your finances together to make the trip! Yes, a select few of you will be invited and you know who you are.

So.. y'all have a good day and a happy tomorrow.

Good news: Bryan doesn't have pneumonia!!! Yay.  He's still pretty sick, but the doc hooked him up with some drugs so he'll be fine.

More good news: the new girl who started today is fantastic. It felt almost weird to have everything ready for lunch by ten; to work the whole day and not feel dragged out tired because I'd been doing my work and someone else's as well.  Then, by twelve-thirty we had all the lunch stuff cleaned up. It was. . .  yeah, weird.

Okay... if you have patio pavers or sidewalk that has grass growing in between, or where grass shouldn't be... I have the perfect solution! Distilled white vinegar! It's cheap and works great. Just for the fun of it I bought a gallon to try it out. Poured some on the grass growing between my pavers and a couple days later it was all dried up. I walked out and squished it out of the way with my shoe. It just poofed. So today I bought another couple gallons to get the rest of it.

Now, I did it when the sun was out and it was pretty warm, which might be a help. I don't know. All I know is it beats the crap out of commercial stuff that costs a bunch of money and doesn't work. So, there's the tip for the day, lol.

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I use Live Writer for my posts. Been using it for about a year now and I really like it. However, as with any utility you use for composing, there are a lot of font choices. The thing is, most of them look alike to me. I guess there are subtle differences, but for the most part... all the same. What's up with that? It's like colors... add a drop of white to red and you can call it a different shade of red, but it's still red. Right?

Ah well, random whatever for the day.

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I watched the last three or four episodes of DesignStar on HGTV. Kind of wish I'd watched it from the beginning. I don't know why.

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Staying on the topic of TV: remember back in the day when the new season started right around the same time school started? At or near Labor Day? Now it starts at the end of September or beginning of October and in January there are always mid-season replacement shows. The seasons don't last any longer... they're all done by Memorial Day.

And also... watched the Emmy's last night. Normally I don't watch those shows because quite frankly, who wins makes no difference to me. It doesn't change my life one iota. But I watched anyway. However, in some categories there were shows nominated (and winning) that I'd never heard of or hadn't been able to watch because they were on cable channels that we don't get. It's like, it hardly seems fair that network TV is in competition with cable channels.. or that regular cable is in competition with premium channels (HBO, ShowTime, Cinemax, etc..). Pretty soon they'll be in competition with movies you go to theaters to watch.

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And that's my randomness for today. Y'all have a great tomorrow!

We're sick here. It is that time of the year, you know. My allergies/sinus's whatever it is has evened out... no sicker than I've been, but not enough better to be well. Bryan's, however, has worsened. Pneumonia once again, more than not. Yay.

It went from 90+ one day to mid 70s the next with a tremendous drop in humidity. Even when it got back to the mid 80s it didn't seem so bad because the humidity was so low. This is only mid-September.... I know from experience that the high temps aren't gone for good yet. It'll be the middle of next month before it starts to cool down for good.

On the work front: let's hope I haven't gotten into a "be careful what you wish for" scenario. Elaine is no longer working in our kitchen. Thursday was her last day. I start going in a half hour earlier now and on Monday we have a new girl starting at 8. I've learned to never say things couldn't get worse... because they always can.

My parents called today. No biggie. I either call them or they call me so we talk at least a couple times a month, sometimes more. Anyway, Mom gave me an update on my sister (kinda long story, might tell it sometime, not sure... but not right now)... among the things discussed was the fact that she can't live alone because Powers That Be have determined she's not mentally stable enough to be alone. Okay.. but my mom and I both agreed that she can't live with either of us, either, because we couldn't handle having her around. Mom's words "I can't handle having to walk on eggshells when she's around all the time, watching what I say." I kind of chuckled and said "Looks like we both have a kid we can't have living with us, huh?"

When my oldest son was born, I used to joke that he was really my sisters' son and I just carried him and gave birth to him because she was too  young (she's 14 years older than him). They've always been so much alike it's uncanny. They look a lot alike, they act a lot alike, and now they even have having lived in shelters as a common thread.

Not a whole lot else going on. Trying to lay the guilt on the youngest son, but he hasn't been gone long enough to miss me enough yet for it to work. Oh well. Good news is that all the classes he signed up for last year he got, including having his favorite teacher all year. Of course, because of what Mr. Wonderful did, he missed out on the summer school class he needed to graduate and will have to do either a night class or community service to make it up, but he went back knowing that. At least he's in school, and he had threatened to drop out if he stayed here just because the school was that bad. Not to mention he gets to do all the senior things with his friends in a familiar setting.  And I'm slowly adjusting back to the empty nest syndrome.

Let's talk about my new job. I've already told y'all about the basics of it, that I'm actually employed by a "catering company" that specializes in school lunches and I work in the cafeteria of a middle school.

There are four of us in my kitchen. Lillie, the kitchen manager, is a tiny little woman who has a reputation of being a bitch to work for. I guess last year she mostly worked by herself, getting help from the other schools. Personally, I like working with her. She runs a very clean, well-organized kitchen and insists on safety standards. She and I work very well together.

Lillie makes sure the three of us are doing our assigned jobs; does the baking; does the paperwork necessary. She also pitches in with our tasks when needed.

Then there's Louise. She works part time, coming in at ten, leaving at two. She mostly does the little things we need done just before lunch, serves lunch with me, and helps clean up after. I really like her.

I come in at seven. I put out the breakfast trays for the kids from about seven until quarter to eight. Then I break down and clean the steam table, wash the tables, wash any pots and pans. Then I start cooking whatever is needed for lunch that I haven't already prepared the day before. Lillie assigns each of us certain items to cook or prepare. I usually also fill the milk cooler for the kids. When everything is cooked, I put it in pans for the steam table. Then I set up the steam table, sometimes with help. At eleven we start setting out lunch trays according to the counts from each of the teachers and that continues until around ten after twelve. I also keep the steam table filled. After lunch I either finish washing the lunch trays; break down and clean the steam table; or wash pots and pans, whichever one has been assigned as my task for the week. When all that is done, we empty the trash, sweep the floor, fill the milk cooler and silverware for the morning. Then, if there's time we prepare whatever we need for the next day.. unless there was time earlier in the day and that's done already. Usually by one-thirty we're pretty much done with everything and spend the last half hour eating our lunch and talking.

Oh, yeah.. there's also Elaine. She was hired this year, too. Supposedly she has experience working in a school cafeteria. We think at one time she was the kitchen manager at some school. She was hired to be the cook, but by the second day of school she was demoted to cooks helper, which I was hired for. She is... well, we would like to see her gone. She fights with Lillie every time Lillie says anything to her, which is almost as stressful for Louise and I as it is for Lillie. She's slow; she spends most of her time just standing in one place starring out into space; she has to be told to do things that are common sense and me and Louise know to do without being told or asked. It's frustrating just having her around. And the thing is, me and Lillie work twice as hard as we should because we're doing things she should be doing as well as what we have to do. She's been pulled from our kitchen several times in the last couple weeks and the thing is that we don't work any harder when she's gone than when she's there, except we do it quicker with her gone.

In Elaine's defense, she had a stroke a couple years ago and went thru rehab. However, you can only excuse so much. If she isn't capable of doing the job, then she needs to accept her limitations instead of getting combative with the rest of us because of her personal frustrations. Just because you used to be able to do something doesn't mean you still can. And, too, there's this: today Elaine was pulled to work in another school and Louise called in sick, so we had a cook from the high school come help out at lunch... and it turns out that Beverly had a stroke three years ago... she's a great worker! Fast, friendly, didn't need to be told more than once how we do things. Yes, I realize there are several degrees of stroke damage, but seriously... the questions begs to be asked: how much of Elaine's incompetence is because of her stroke and how much is just Elaine?

I work hard. Probably harder than I've ever worked since I was maybe 19, working in the kitchen of a family restaurant for a woman who hated my family. And it really irks me when I'm busting my ass and Elaine's standing five feet away starring off, doing nothing, getting paid most likely more than I am. Hell, it irks me when I see someone standing around doing nothing when I'm busting my ass whether I'm getting paid or not.

Anyway, that's what I do now. Besides what I do around the house... you know... cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, mowing the lawn, washing dishes, worrying about my kids, taking care of the animals, and doing my best to keep Bryan happy.

Y'all have a good tomorrow!

IMPORTANT!! HOW TO FORWARD EMAIL APPROPRIATELY

. It is an excellent message that ABSOLUTELY applies to ALL of us who send e-mails. Please read the short letter below, even if you're sure you already follow proper procedures.

Do you really know how to forward e-mails? 50% of us do; 50% DO NOT. Do you wonder why you get viruses or junk mail? Do you hate it? Every time you forward an e-mail there is information left over from the people who got the message before you, namely their e-mail addresses & names. As the messages get forwarded along, the list of addresses builds, and builds, and builds, and all it takes is for some poor sap to get a virus, and his or her computer can send that virus to every e-mail address that has come across his computer. Or, someone can take all of those addresses and sell them or send junk mail to them in the hopes that you will go to the site and he will make five cents for each h hit. That's right, all of that inconvenience over a nickel! How do you stop it? Well, there are several easy steps:

(1) When you forward an e-mail, DELETE all of the other addresses that appear in the body of the message (at the top). That's right, DELETE them.Highlight them and delete them, backspace them, cut them, whatever it is you know how to do. It only takes a second. You MUST click the "Forward" button first and then you will have full editing capabilities against the body and headers of the message. If you don't click on "Forward" first, you won't be able to edit the message at all.

(2) Whenever you send an e-mail to more than one person, do NOT use the To: or Cc: fields for adding e-mail addresses. Always use the BCC: (blind carbon copy) field for listing the e-mail addresses. This is the way the people you send to will only see their own e-mail address. If you don't see your BCC: option click on where it says To: and your address list will appear. Highlight the address and choose BCC: and that's it, it's that easy. When you send to BCC: your message will automatically say "Undisclosed Recipients" in the "TO:" field of the people who receive it.

(3) Remove any "FW :" in the subject line. You can re-name the subject if you wish or even fix spelling.

(4) ALWAYS hit your Forward button from the actual e-mail you are reading. Ever get those e-mails that you have to open 10 pages to read the one page with the information on it? By Forwarding from the actual page you wish someone to view, you stop them from having to open many e-mails just to see what you sent.

(5) Have you ever gotten an email that is a petition? It states a position and asks you to add your name and address and to forward it to 10 or 15 people or your entire address book. The email can be forwarded on and on and can collect thousands of names and email addresses. A FACT: The completed petition is actually worth a couple of bucks to a professional spammer because of the wealth of valid names and email addresses contained therein. If you want to support the petition, send it as your own personal letter to the intended recipient. Your position may carry more weight as a personal letter than a laundry list of names and email address on a petition. (Actually, if you think about it, who's supposed to send the petition in to whatever cause it supports? And don 't believe the ones that say that the email is being traced, it just aint so!)

(6) One of the main ones I hate is the ones that say that something like, "Send this email to 10 people and you'll see something great run across your screen." Or, sometimes they'll just tease you by saying something really cute will happen. IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!!!!

(7) Before you forward an Amber Alert, or a Virus Alert, or some of the other ones floating around nowadays, check them out before you forward them. Most of them are junk mail that's been circling the net for YEARS! Just about everything you receive in an email that is in question can be checked out at Snopes. Just go to http://www.snopes.com/

Remember, if you haven't already heard it on the news, it most likely isn't true.

It's really easy to find out if it's real or not. If it's not, please don't pass it on.

So please, in the future, let's stop the junk mail and the viruses.

Finally, here's an idea!!! Let's send this to everyone we know

(but strip my address off first, please).

This is something that SHOULD be forwarded.

I was fine yesterday... Friday. Really. Until around 9 that night. The day had actually been relatively easy. Easy day at work, left a little early to see if I could get my Hepatitis A shot at the clinic (required for work). When I got to the clinic, there were 2 people sitting in the waiting area. I read the bulletin board that said immunizations were only given until 11 am on Fridays, thought uh oh... but then I was told "sure, the nurse can get you in today." So, I got my shot and was able to come home and change clothes before going to get Bryan from work. And I got paid! We went out to eat, stopped at the store and got a few things... then we came home and started packing Alex's stuff.

I cried while I was packing, but tried not to let Alex see me. He knew, though. One time, I was standing at the counter wiping my eyes and he came up behind me, rubbed my shoulders. Another time, he kissed the top of my head. He's a good kid. Bryan went to bed a little early and me and Alex watched a couple episodes of Buffy (got him hooked, we did, lol), then decided it was time for bed.

As soon as I laid down, I broke down. Wracked with sobbing. For about an hour. Then I decided that since I wasn't going to be able to sleep, might as well get up and surf the web for a while. Alex, too, couldn't sleep and he joined me in the den. We watched some videos, talked a little about important stuff... but not too important because I didn't want to cry again.

It was after 2 when I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. Went to bed and fell asleep immediately, only to be awakened a couple hours later by Bryan. We left the house at around five this morning- Alex's plane left at 6:40. Me and Bryan got gate passes so we could go with him to wait for his flight. We stuck around after he boarded, stayed until the plane was in the air. I didn't cry.

Today has been a series of crying jags since we got back to the house.

I'll be okay. Really. I will. Alex is fine and he'll be okay. And if things don't work out, I'm gonna make him come back here. Actually, he knows if things don't work out he's coming back. Part of me hopes...lol... but I'm not gonna hold my breath. He's a lot like me... he'll make the best of the situation if it's possible. Except, of course, if he gets a notion stuck in his head (like moving back to Michigan... pig headed little shit).

Anyhow, I'll be online more, catching up on what's going on with y'all. Posting more here. But I'm kinda tired tonight so.....

Y'all have a good rest of the weekend. Raining here. Seems somehow appropriate.

This is the first year in my working years that I've had the day off.. the entire weekend!.. and don't have to worry about getting called in or anyone calling me with work problems. In fact, that is one of the really cool things about my job... when I leave, I leave the job behind. Well, okay, Bryan might not agree with that since I tend to bitch about a certain co-worker A LOT (he says, though, that's he's glad I'm working and have someone to bitch about so I don't bitch about him, lol). Anyhow, I absolutely love the fact that when Friday rolls around I can be one of those people I used to detest... those people who count down the days until the weekend and then on Friday are all "TGIF!". Working in a school is the best! I get off whenever the kids are off... holidays, snow days, weekends, summers... and once a month we have a half day of school, which I thought I was going to get off, but it turns out since I was unofficially upgraded from cooks' helper to cook, I'll be going in for breakfast.

When we moved and I left the gas station, I was sure I wouldn't find another job that I had so much fun working at. I really did like most of the people I worked with there and usually always had a good time at work. My motto has always been that if you're not having fun at work, you need to work somewhere else. So I was bummed big time that I had to leave that job. However, going back to my life motto of everything happening for a reason... had we not moved I wouldn't have this new job. The pay is not great by far, the work is hard, but I like going to work. So, it worked out.

Can you believe I've been here a year? That's right kids, me and B just celebrated our one year anniversary of living together. A shitload of stuff has happened in that year and we're hoping that the next won't be quite so overwhelming. You know that list of things that cause stress? C'mone, you've all seen it... there's like so many points for this or that? Well, between the two of us we've probably experienced nearly everything on that list: leaving a spouse, moving, starting a new job, death, divorce, moving in together, and stuff involving kids. Seriously, the only thing on that list I want to experience this year is another divorce. And that won't be a stressful thing... that'll be a celebratory thing.

Speaking of kid things... if you've moseyed over to Bryan's blog at all then you already know.. Alex is moving back to Michigan. Next Saturday, the 8th. Mr. Wonderful actually paid for a big chunk of his plane ticket! He won't be living with him, he's going to be staying with his best friends' family and we've worked out most of the details. I'm not exactly happy about it, but I feel it's better to let him go now, so he can get enrolled in school and get that going right away than to wait until after his 18th birthday, when I can't stop him, and have him messing up school. Besides that, the school here really does suck and although there are other schools we could have probably gotten him into, they really aren't much better. Anyway, he'll probably be better with these people than he was with Mr. Wonderful, that's for sure. And I know he's going to miss not only me, but Bryan as well, so he'll be hyped to come down for visits more often this time. Besides that, his cat will be with us, lol. I'm not thrilled with this decision, I'm not happy...but I'm okay with it. AND.... he has said that if his grades decline or if he gets into any trouble at all, he'll be willing to move down here again. LOL, that was in a little "agreement" he drafted and signed.

Keeping on the subject of kids.... I am so pissed at Bryan's oldest three it isn't funny. They never call him just to see how he is, to say hello. If they call at all it's to bitch about something, tell him how he's supposed to be living his life, or what he should be doing for this one or that. Argh! Melissa has been married three times, so she knows that not all marriages last and it isn't necessarily the fault of one or the other... but whatever. Mike has been married and divorced, had his dad and sister drive all the way out to Nevada to get him and his kids when it didn't work out, but again... whatever. And with Mitchell it's all about that stupid car! Grrr. You know.. the car he just had to have RIGHT NOW. The car that is sitting in the garage at Bryan's dads' house, the car that Mitchell has never volunteered to help fix or offered to buy parts for. The one who should be acting all childish and immature and placing blame.... because she's only eleven!!!... is the only one who's being mature about it all, accepting that it is what it is, making the best of it and moving on.

Okay.. that's out of my system now, so let's take a look at the positives of Alex going back to Michigan. He'll be with his friends, in a school he's totally familiar with and comfortable in, living with people who will actually provide adult supervision, he'll be fed, I'll have a way of checking up on him (because they actually answer their phone), and he'll be able to see his brother. Also, me and Bryan will be able to get on the computer more often and we can run around naked or half naked if we want.