Oh Lord... a mighty bad storm blew my way last night. It came from the west, but just a little west. Caught me almost completely off guard, too. Thankfully it didn't last long, but it sure did leave a lasting impression. It wasn't scary, just... well, I was left confuddled. And yes, that is a word... I'm using it, so it must be.

Today I can look back on it with more clarity. No understanding, but at least I see it for what it was now. It was evil. And it came to me through the phone line. Rather like a banshee. Yes, that must be what it was. There was plenty of wailing and wicked screeching. And if the voice had had a body, it probably would have been doing some form of evil dance in the yard with arms flailing and feet bouncing off the ground. Yes, I'm sure it would have been quite the spectacle, for sure.

She called. The evil female human form that the wonderful man in my life is divorcing. She's obviously not happy about it. And because she's such a treasure, it must be MY fault he left her. Yes, I must be the one to blame.

You see, Bryan went to his granddaughters' choir recital. Although I would have liked to have gone, The Evil One informed the granddaughter that if that woman (me) went, then she wasn't going. Yes, she's a real grown-up, she is.  Then, at the last minute the granddaughter called her grandpa and told him that grandma wasn't going, so she would like me to go. This was at quarter til the time the recital began. There was no way I could throw myself together in time to attend, so I sent the camera along and wishes for a good night. Then I settled onto the floor with dozens of girl scout cookie boxes in front me in need of being sorted and bagged.

Bryan's cell phone rang. He had left it here on the charger. I got up to see who it was. The first time it was his second job. The second time it said "The Storm". I gingerly walked away, knowing that her evil is such that it could transcend the confines of the cell phone if I got too close. I shuddered and sat back down. Not even two minutes later, the house phone rang. We don't have caller ID. I considered letting the answer machine pick up, then thought  there's no way it's her; she has no reason to call here.

*insert evil erie music*   

I picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I say, my voice cheery.

Then WHAM! My ears are assaulted. It's her!!!! And I have nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I don't have my talisman for protection! Oh no!!

I could feel the evil vibrations thru the phone, even though it's cordless. It was a creepy sensation, much like the feeling you get when you let your mind wander late at night in the woods. Except this time the evil was real. And it was trying to wiggle it's way into my head thru  my ears.

I listened while she ranted and raved and screamed and yelled. I'm thinking what the hell? I'm just sitting in my home, minding my own business. She continues. Was it hours or did it just feel that long? Then... then she takes a breath for her next assault. I move in. Smiling, I say "Well, aren't you just a friendly person? What a shame we can't be best friends!" Lordy, lordy, lordy! That probably wasn't a smart thing to do, but it sure did make me feel good. I could feel her face turn bright red, could almost feel the steam spewing forth from her ears and nostrils, and I sure did hear the fire sprouting from her mouth! Wow! She continues with more ranting and raving and screaming and yelling, all the while I'm standing in the kitchen thinking what the hell?? She's a raving lunatic!

It felt like it lasted forever, but it was probably only five minutes. Before she hung up on me, after threatening to kick my ass if she ever sees me, she told me she was glad I "took him away from her". Then she totally dissed Bryan, as if she was being a good person and giving me fair warning or something, but the disdain in her voice for both of us was quite obvious, so I don't think she was really being as friendly as she thought. The yelling didn't make it sound too much like a friendly warning, either. Or, hey, maybe it was just me.

When the storm had passed, I replaced the phone on the cradle and went back to sorting cookies. I was feeling a little shaky, but that's to be expected after having come ear to voice with pure evil. I think coming face to face with Satan would be easier, at least he'd pretend to be nice. Anyway, I had just sat down when the phone rang again, perhaps ten minutes later. My first thought was : Oh no! What does she want to rant about this time?

It wasn't her. It was Bryan's son, wanting to know if his dad was here. We talked for maybe three or four minutes, I asked if he was okay and explained that I was a little concerned because of what had just transpired. He assured me he was fine. But can anyone really be fine living with evil? But, that's what they're used to. They'd probably be more scared if she became..   sane.

When Bryan got home, having already been warned by his other son about the phone call, I hugged him and told him how sorry I was that he'd had to put up with that for all those years. Then he listened to the voicemail that she left on his cell, and let me listen. Lordy, lordy, lordy! She was yelling at him to answer his phone! She was talking to his voicemail, duh. How insane is that? Does she not realize that voicemail can't be heard until after the person has dialed it??? Not like it was an answer machine. Maybe Evil just doesn't know the difference?

So, that was my night. How was  yours?  

Talked to the ex today. Pretty decent talk, actually, as far as talks with him go. Happened to get on the discussion of ghosts. As most of you know, my old house was haunted. Well, it seems one of the more 'spirited' ghosts came along with me. Perhaps with a piece of furniture.  I mentioned that a mirror fell off the wall the other night while Bryan and I were watching TV... a mirror that was securely attached to the wall. And when I went to pick it up off the floor, I couldn't help but notice that the screws used to hold it in place were still there.

Anyhow, this led to a discussion of the ghosts in his apartment. And how he's seen "orbs" in pictures taken there. That my son took a picture of a shadow in his closet. That he- Mr Wonderful- and his friend both saw a young Mexican girl standing in his living room. One who wasn't alive and breathing. I had my son send me the picture of the shadow, and sure enough.. there's a shadow in his closet. A closet that has no mirrors in it.

This made me want to take a closer look at the pictures I took in that apartment when Bryan and I were there for my son's birthday. Amazing. There are some pictures where I can count up to nearly 20 orbs, others where there are none. So I know it's not my camera, that there was nothing on the lense. All the pictures were taken within minutes of each other. Mostly. I'm going to post some of these pictures... see if you can see the orbs.  You can click on the pictures to enlarge them for a better look.

look to the right and behind Natalie's head

I see two here, how many do you see?

okay, tell me you see none in this one. I dare ya! I count 20.

again, I see several.

three? four?

zero. I don't see any in this picture.

or in this one.

Glad I don't live there, lol.

but I don't know if any of them really work. Got this in an e-mail, will probably check out a  couple of them.

Reheat Pizza

Heat up leftover pizza in a non-stick skillet on top of the stove. Set

heat to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy.

No soggy micro pizza.

I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.

Expanding Frosting

When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer

for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more cake/cupcakes

with the same amount. You also eat less sugar/calories per serving.

Reheating refrigerated bread

To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them

in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep

the food moist and help it reheat faster.

Newspaper Weeds-Away

Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers,

put layers around the plants overlapping as you go, cover with mulch and

forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic; they

will not get through wet newspapers.

Broken Glass

Use a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken pieces of glass ...

the fibers catch ones you can't see!

MINE!!!!!

If you purchase a new bike for your child, place their picture inside the handle bar

before placing the grips on. If the bike is stolen and later recovered, remove the

grip and there is your proof who owns the bike.

Flexible vacuum

To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge, add an empty paper

towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to

get in narrow openings.

Reducing Static Cling

Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress.

Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... voila ... static is gone.

Measuring Cups

Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill it with hot water.

Dump out the hot water, but don't dry the cup. Next, add your ingredient,

such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

Foggy Windshield?

Hate foggy windshields?

Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car.

When the windows fog, rub with the eraser!

Works better than a cloth!

Reopening envelope

If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside,

just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two.

Voila! It unseals easily.

Conditioner

Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's a lot cheaper than shaving cream

and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner

you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair...

Good-bye Fruit Flies

To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it 1/2" with Apple Cider Vinegar

and 2 drops of dishwashing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the

cup and gone forever!

Get Rid of Ants

Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it "home,"

and can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, esp. if it rains,

but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children

being harmed!

Take baby powder to the beach

Keep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag. When you're ready to leave

the beach sprinkle yourself and kids with the powder and the sand will slide right

off your skin.