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March 31 Why I won't own a Crossfire!!! Okay, I'm taking the exit from one freeway to the other on my way to work this afternoon, and damn! Some jerkwad in a little Crossfire cuts me off!!! I lay on the horn, am flipping him off and yelling at him ... he came this "ll" close to swiping the front bumper and fender off my car!!! So what does this piece of work do??? He turns around and flips me off at least a dozen times and is yelling at ME.... like I'm the one who was in the wrong!! How dare I get in the exit lane before him!! Moron!!
Men! Especially men who drive little sports cars!!! Almost as bad as short men! Always out trying to prove something!!! Grrrr!!! Okay, if you're a short man and you don't go around trying to prove anything to anyone, I don't mean YOU. Otherwise, YES I DO MEAN YOU!!! Especially if you live in the metro Detroit area and drive a silver Crossfire with a black top!! YOU'RE A MORON!!! AND YOU'RE PROBABLY THE PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHY THERE'S A CERTAIN PHRASE ASSOCIATED WITH MEN WHO DRIVE LITTLE SPORTS CARS!!!
 And the little weasel got off at the same exact exit I did!! Thankfully he went straight and I turned... or I would have followed him and bopped him upside the head! Then I would have shown him the rear view mirror that he obviously doesn't know how to use!
Okay, I feel a little better now.
Good night friends
wanna fly?It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school
diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs... After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet,"which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaint s submitted by Qantas' Pilots (marked with a P) and the Solutions Recorded (marked with an S) By Maintenance Engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. -------------------------------------------------------  P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder. P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And The Best One For Last !! P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget Pity Party Part.... whateverIt's a beautiful spring day. The sun is out, it's 64 degrees, but I feel blah.
Too much thinking, I'm thinking.
Too much analyzing and trying to figure things out that maybe don't need to be figured out.
I need a change. Several, actually.
I don't recall when the last time was I did anything fun. When I didn't feel like there was a ton of shit sitting on my shoulders waiting for me to make it all right. When I had a totally stress free day. I don't remember when the last time was I felt special. Or when my heart felt whole.
I want to dance. And laugh. And cry because I'm happy! I want to do something completely silly with someone who only wants to be with me, and giggle like a teenager the whole time.
I want a safe, soft place to land. March 29 Easter Eggs...not what you thinkWhile finding things to put up on my other blog I ran across this site. It's pretty cool, if you have a few extra minutes, go take a look. Most of what I have posted here tonight is taken from there, I just deleted and added a little. I knew about these, but didn't know what they were called.
 An Easter Egg is a hidden feature or novelty that the programmers have put in their software. In general, it is any hidden, entertaining thing that a creator hides in their creation only for their own personal reasons. This can be anything from a hidden list of the developers, to hidden commands, to jokes, to funny animations. You'd be surprised just how many things contain Easter Eggs.
A true Easter Egg must satisfy the following criteria:
Reasons there might be an Easter Egg in something:
I thought it was rather interesting. I knew about some of them... like the red doorknobs in The Sixth Sense. Okay, so I only know about one, but when I watch a movie for the fourth or fifth time I look to see if there are any. Of course, unless it's a really silly stupid movie every time I watch it I'm just watching it because I like the movie and if I happen to see anything that would qualify as an Easter Egg it's just by chance.
Happy hunting!! March 28 Thirty-One Ways to use your blog Have you ever read that list of stuff over there ----> ? Some of it is downright funny. Seriously.
1. Keep a daily journal of your life
okay, today I got up, watched The View, went to work, came home and sat here in front of the pc monitor where I read some blogs, then checked that listy thingy out
2. Post a quote du jour.
"sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're the windshield"
3. Document your daily successes.
Today I didn't kill anyone.
4. List your goals.
Today my goal is to do everything on that listy thing.
5. Describe a recent adventure.
I drove to work today. That's always an adventure. There was an accident just after my exit, which almost made me late. Oh, and this really sexy Polish/German man came in the store this afternoon... yeah, I could picture me and him having a couple adventures *smile*
6. Compliment a friend.
Trishy, you're a very smart and pretty woman and you're worth more than you think!
7. Write a restaurant review.
The ambience and food at Texas Roadhouse is the best! Enough said.
8. Detail a recent date.
What's a date? Today is March 28th, that's a date, right? It's the day after the 27th and the day before the 29th.
9. List your favorite hangouts.
Boob One and Boob Two. They hang out alot... wait, they just hang.
10. Share a poem of yours.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I wrote this poem
It's not about you
11. Offer tips in your area of expertise.
Okay, don't scrimp on cable! Or connections! You get what you pay for!
12. Write about your favorite hobby.
It's writing, okay? You either use a pen/pencil and paper or you sit at your typewriter or pc and you write.
13. Describe a class your taking.
The only 'class' I'm taking is my weekly MiT class... the DM tells us what we're doing wrong, how to do it right, and then usually makes me stay after so he can yell at me in private.
14. Review a movie.
Last movie I watched was House of D. It's good. Go watch it.
15. Gossip about celebrities, coworkers, or friends.
Somebody is doing something with someone. OMG! Can you believe it??
16.Outline your diet and exercise plan.
My diet consists of whatever I feel like eating today and exercise? Please, that's a dirty word.
17. Share interesting bits of information.
Did you know pigs have 30 minute orgasms?
18. Rate a book you've read.
Forever Odd, Dean Koontz "10"
19. Describe your dreams.
They're in color. Sometimes first person, sometimes third, and lately they've been about large groups of people.
20. Write and editorial about a current event.
There's this thing going around about taking and posting a picture of where you sit when you blog. Have you heard about it? Are you going to do it? Let's just say no one needs to see how dusty certain areas are in my house, lol.
21.Ask questions of other bloggers.
Do you think getting rid of Mooch and Joey is going to make a difference in how the Lions play this fall?
Do you care?
Do you even know who I'm talking about?
Are you listening? Hello?!
22. Share jokes and funny stories.
What? I'm supposed to be a comedian now?
23. Describe a project your working on.
It involves secret stuff and if I told you I'd have to kill your dog.
24. Tell heart warming pet stories.
I didn't kill your dog. He was cute. I was in a good mood.
25. Offer dating or parenting advice.
Yeah, 'cause everyone wants that! Okay... watch your friggin' kid!!!!
26. Write a short story.
This is the beginning. This is the middle. This is the end. No dogs were harmed.
27. Speculate about the direction of the stock market.
Hey, I can do this! I just heard today to buy stock from BRIC (Brazil, Russia, India, China). The guy made some analogy about lemon aide stands, it was funny. And... sometimes it's a bull, sometimes a bear.
28. Highlight your favorite clothing store.
Dots
29. Share mouth watering recipes.
1 oz Rum
3 oz Coke
put in a glass with some ice, drink, enjoy
30. Post a photo of the day
 and.... drum roll, please.....
31. Share twenty things others should know about you.
I've been doing this long enough, I'm sure you can find 20 things about me somewhere in the archives. I'm tired.
Done.
 March 27 nuttin' to get excited aboutJust a quickie right now... a little pet peeve.
And it probably shouldn't bug me, but it does. Go figure, huh?
I know that by putting myself out here I'm inviting strangers in to get a look at who I am, and I don't mind that.... but I do mind when I can't get a look at them, lol! People who have a space but have nothing on it so you can't leave a comment for them... or worse yet, their space is set to private! C'mone people.. especially if you're leaving a nice comment, give me the opportunity to reply back. Please?
Okay, since I can't and there's the slight off chance they'll be back...
THANK YOU!
now, go make a guest book or something on your blog, okay? Or at least put up an entry allowing comments, even if all you write is: Comments welcome! Or.. or... Hey Kim! This is just for YOU! even better, lol FREE! FREE! Who doesn't like free???This link can be found at Judy's blog or right here, lol
Free portrait!!!
Check it out!!!
On a lighter note this afternoon..Have I mentioned that I actually enjoy going to work now? Still have the same job, but this new store has some definite advantages over every other store I've ever worked in. There's 5 guys, me, and Jenny. Two of the guys are pretty damn hot. And yes, it's sexism and maybe exploitation, but I DON'T CARE! One of them is the manager.
B is the boss. He's maybe 30, or a little older. He has this cute baby face with freckles. And a knockout body! Real nice guy, too. Sweet even.
But J is ... wow!!! He's all of 21 and just such a hotty! When he's in his street clothes, wearing a tight t-shirt that hugs those muscles and that chest... heavenly! I'm even thinking of joining the gym just so I can work out with him!!! Yum Yum! Oh, and he dances! Professionally!! That's right ladies... I work with an ex-stripper!!! Yum Yum Yum!! What delicious eye candy indeedy!
Then there's K, a goofball. He's in a band. Not yum yum but hardly a puke out either, lol. He always wears a suit to work. His band made a demo cd and he gave me one, which made me feel like part of the family, lol, but I'm not real fond of the music. Two of the songs are metal, two are rap-like, and the fifth is industrial.
S is ... omg, almost a nerd. He tries to be 'cool' but just doesn't make it. Sweet kid, but he needs to loosen up some.
And let's not forget D. He's just around 9 years my junior, married with two small children. He's a golf junkie. Has this funny weird laugh that's just shy of being girlish. He wears sweater vests, lol. Nice looking man. And once in a while he'll make some comment that I don't expect to come out of his mouth and it just cracks me up!
Jenny is... the same as she was at the other store we worked together in. It's just that here she isn't trying to stir up the pot like she was at the other one. And even the little bit she's still managing to get stuff stirred up there doesn't affect me because I don't get caught in the middle of her dramas anymore.
Yeah, at least I have one bright spot in my life, lol. Still hate my job, but don't mind going as much when I get fun people to work with. And eye candy to boot!!
  lol, yeah, it's almost like getting this lucky!!! March 26 I needed this tonight....OMG!!!
I just watched Ron White "You Can't Fix Stupid". LOL @ the name, because it's what I call Mr Wonderful, so it fits perfectly!! But damn!!! That man (Ron White, not Mr W) is so funny!!!
My favorite quotes from the show:
"But you can't fix stupid"
"I thought he had a squirrel in there"
"Chocolate"
"The next time you have a thought..."
"Let me rephrase that - "
"By this time I was sweating scotch"
"They're the same price"
"That thing probably ate the squirrel"
LOL, there are more. These are either the punch lines or the lead-in to some hillarious scenario told only the way Ron White can tell a story.
Yep, I need to run out and buy this DVD. I have the Blue Collar DVDs, Larry the Cable Guy Git R Done, Bill Evangel(sp?)Here's Your Sign, and Ron White They Call Me Tater Salad, so this is just another addition I need for my collection.
You know how there are some celebrities you think to yourself: Man, I'd love to hang out with him/her just for laughs....? Well, I don't think I could handle hanging out with Ron. Seriously, I'd be snorting and pee-ing myself and wind up part of his routine.
 *smooch* Things you could live without knowing, but I needed to vent....It's pretty much official.... I am a bitch!
Ask Mr Wonderful, he'll tell you. Not only am I a bitch, but I'm selfish and self centered and the entire universe revolves around MY wants. It's all about me !! Yep, you heard it here first. Oh, and let's not forget I'm a cheating bitch at that! I have a boyfriend in Toledo.
You ask: what the hell is she talking about? Okay, time for rewind. Odetot ni dneirfyob a evah I. !taht ta hctib gnitaehc a m'I tegrof ton s'tel and, ho. Tsrif raeh ti draeh uoy, pey. !! Em tuoba lla s'ti. Stnaw YM dnuora sevlover esrvinu eritne eht dna deretnec fles dna hsifles m'I tub, hctib a I ma ylno ton. Uoy llet ll'eh, lufrednow rm ksa.
You see, it all began as these things do. He made promises he didn't keep. Several times. And today, when it became an issue and I pointed this out to him as an explanation for why I was upset (time was a major factor in this) he made a lame attempt to pass the blame. Onto me!! Well, first he tried to pass it as me bitching about his daughter because she was doing laundry (I merely asked why she was doing her laundry here, two hours before she had to leave, instead of at home, since he likes to bitch about the people who actually live here doing their laundry, but that's a whole other thing). Anyway, he tried to snowball it into something it was nowhere near, while I stayed on topic, which totally pissed him off (you know, me not allowing him to turn this into yet another of his bitch fests).
Anyway, here's the dilema with which we live. I accept responsibility for what I say, do, and how my actions affect the other people in the house. I do not pass blame. I do not pass off my faults as faults in other people. I do not, except in rare circumstances, bring up anything that has happened in the past to rehash in a current argument. I don't make accusations just to see what the reaction will be. It's called maturity, being an adult. The thing is, the same can't be said for him. So it goes...
And I most definitely do not intend this to sound as if I'm just the perfect little wife and woman without faults. Far from it. Nor is this meant to be a tyrade about what an ass he is. He actually does have a couple redeeming qualities, I'm just not interested in what they are anymore.
As for the boyfriend in Toledo, I'm sure I know exactly what and who he is referring to, but it was a long time ago and has absolutely nothing to do with how I feel now. Yes, I do have another friend in Toledo (one female, one male, and a cousin who lives in a Toledo burb if you want the whole truth), but the male friend is not my boyfriend. In fact, even the man Mr Wonderful likes to think of as my boyfriend, never was.
OH! And this brings up yet another thing!!! I am 90% positive he is or was having an affair (some of it is because he told me that he would never cheat on me unless he thought I was cheating on him, which he was positive I was doing. Setting the record straight, I met Mr Wonderful in late July 2000 and have never been with another man since). There's also been things I've found on the computer, a phone number in his phone, unexplained absences and missing money, and his need to deny that he would ever cheat on me without me even bringing up the subject. But that doesn't matter, because I really do not care if he is or was... I'm long past having feelings of jealousy or even caring, I'm here only because there are things that have to be taken care of before I can leave.
And I only bring up that topic because the other night a friend and I were talking and I was explaining that I wish Mr Wonderful would just admit to it. My friend asked what I would say or do if he did. I said that I'd like to meet her. This surprised my friend. I tried to explain that just because I don't love him anymore doesn't mean I don't want him to be happy with someone else, and I just want to make sure that she's up to handling all his baggage.
Despite all that is wrong with my marriage I don't think of it as a mistake. It's been a learning experience. And if nothing else, at least one of my sons got a "dad" out of the deal.
Anyway, while I was out doing what I was going to do much earlier until he said we were going to do something else(time was running out and, again, we couldn't do what he promised we'd do), he drove his daughter home. So I got out of that drive (although that wasn't my motive); this is just another opportunity for him to tell me it's all about me and that's why he had to drive her home and possibly make him late for work. Naturally, I'm not falling for it.
Because I am a bitch. Selfish, self-centered, and the universe does revolve around me. March 24 Not so random.... really Patience is a virtue.
I've been told once or twice in certain situations that I have the patience of a saint.
So why do I feel like I'm the most impatient person in the world? To ever exist?
I'm trying to get better about it. Really, I am.
Spontaneity equals funloving. Carefree.
Impatience plus spontaneity equals disaster.
I learned the hard way.
It's sometimes not so easy to know when it's okay to be spontaneous. To just do something on the spur of the moment. No big thought given to it, just do it. Sometimes, like last weekend, it works out the way it should. Other times, like five and a half years ago, it doesn't. And I know why it resulted the way it did both times.
Patience. And lack thereof.
A few days ago I wrote about my faults. But I forgot the one that causes the most brain strain. I'm always what-if'ing . What if I had.... What if he had... What if this went that way.... What if it went this way.... What if I hadn't done.... What if this was said.... What if I hadn't said...
It probably seems as though I'm having another one of those nights where I'm just sitting here writing random things, but the truth is this is leading to something. I'm just not having the easiest time getting it down for some reason.
The thing is... you really can be too patient. Opportunities really do pass you by if you aren't willing to be spontaneous. By the same token, being too impatient and spontaneous can mean you miss an opportunity because you rushed into it too soon. There should be a rule book that tells you when you need to slow down and when it's okay to rush in. And there should be a brain blocker that keeps what if from ever getting a chance to take root in your thoughts.
Okay, now to run off into something totally off topic. Question posed tonight: You're a 36 year old man. You've asked a 19 year old girl to attend a function with you, thinking you would attend this function as friends. Then you find out the girl has been home-schooled her whole life and has never been on a "date", which she assumes this to be. Now you feel obligated to make this a date, what do you do? My answer has already been voiced, I'd just like to know what y'all think should be done. LOL, I already know the women will most likely have the same reaction and reply I had, so I'm curious to know what the men have to say. I still want the women to comment (reinforcement of my opinion, lol). I'm curious. And I'll bet the man in the scenario is, too.
March 23 How logical are you?This is a game I found over at Bethany's. The rules are quite easy, but the game isn't! I sent the link to Royal because I knew he'd figure it out. Which he did:
:
 Then I asked him how he did it and he couldn't remember! So we talked on the phone while playing this game and we couldn't figure it out and he had to get to school, so I messed around with it some more and voilla!! I actually got them all to the other side too!! Naturally I called him to let him know... then when I tried again.... nope, couldn't figure it out!
Anyway, have at it and have fun, lol!
You'll probably have to copy and paste, it's what I had to do. Once you try it, be forewarned... it's addicting!
oh yeah, lol, the rules:
everyone has to get to the other side of the river
only 2 people can go at one time
only mom, dad, and the cop can operate the raft
mom can't be left alone with the boys without dad
dad can't be left alone with the girls without mom
the prisoner can't be alone with the family
click on the big blue dot to start
What did I did?Okay then, I guess I need to hit 'preview space' once in awhile, lol. I just tonight saw that the third funny in the last post wasn't showing. Talk about a 'dah' moment!
March 20 some oldies, but still funny (laugh, dammit, they're funny)Cowboy Boots
An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "Seniors" in Texas. Ray always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife "notice anything different about me?"
Bessie looks him over, "nope." Frustrated Ray storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots.
Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?"
Bessie looks up and says, "Ray, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow".
Furious, Ray yells, "DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!!!!!!
To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Ray. Shoulda bought a hat".
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Old Age vs. New Age
I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him.
The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
The old man did not bat an eye in his response, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."
*********************************
There's this guy who is in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. One day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a "for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner and says, "This bike is beautiful!! I'll take it, but you must tell me how you keep it in such good shape." "Well," says the owner, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from moisture. In fact, since you're buying it, I won't need this jar of Vaseline, so you might as well have it too." So he buys the bike and off he goes. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend and that night they decide to go over to her parents house. It's the first time he was going to meet them and figures the bike will make a big impression. Before they went in, the girl says, "Honey, I gotta tell you something about my parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes. "No problem," he says and in they go. The boyfriend is astounded, right smack in the middle of the living room is a HUGE stack of dirty dishes. In the family room, dirty dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, he decides to take advantage of the situation. Without saying a word, he grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make it on the dinner table. Of course, no one said a word. He thinks, "Her Mom is kinda cute." So he grabs her and has his way with her too. No one said a word again!! Then, he notices it started to rain, so he better take care of his Harley. He pulls out the jar of Vaseline. Just then the father stands up and shouts, "ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO THE FUCKING DISHES!!!!"
March 19 My Horrorscope for TodayMarch 19, 2006
It is better to take the risk of expressing how you feel today, rather than pretending you feel nothing at all. The present planetary alignment means that you have nothing to lose by opening up and being honest. The truth is that your friend is probably even more reserved than you, but also feels equally attracted. One of you has to do something; otherwise nothing will happen. Really?
What to do, what to do.... Tips and TricksThis is a great article about teaching your body to act and react in certain ways. Like, how to ease a scratchy throat or clear your sinuses. How to ease a burn or brain freeze, or stop a bloody nose. Yep, I'm reading tonight. Quote Men's Health - MSN Health & Fitness Twitching?Some of you may have already read this, but it's a cool article worth blogging about, lol. Talks about why we get muscle twitches, hiccups, shivers, brain freeze, etc... Go ahead, give it a read. LOL... be informed. Quote
March 18 My Faults...Sometimes I'm too..... blunt.
I ask questions that maybe shouldn't be asked. Or that should, but maybe I ask too soon. Or too late. Or the wrong way.
Sometimes the mouth (or the fingers, when I'm writing) goes faster than the brain should let it.
I say (or write) more than I should. Or not as much as is needed.
I occassionally overlook things that need a deeper looking and look too deep at things that should just be overlooked.
There are times I jump to conclusions that are so off the mark they're not even a dot on the map. And other times I refuse to see what is so obviously right in front of me.
Sometimes I stay when I should leave, and leave when I should stay.
I'm too smart to be as stupid as I sometimes am.
I am my own worst enemy.
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