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December 30 Last ramblings of '06With just a few hours left of this year, it's time to look back. Or not. Who knows? I'm just gonna let my brain take my fingers wherever it leads. I can't help but think of the things I've lost: a house, a car, an outmoded way of life, a couple kids, my edge. But what I've gained makes up for the losses tenfold. I'm not just referring to Bryan and all that accompanies being with him. Or maybe I am, in an offhanded way. Because what I've gained is peace. Despite all the changes and upheavals and material losses, I am a much better person than I was twelve months ago. I like myself a trillion times more now than I did at the beginning of the year. And that's way more important than anything else.
My fear is that I'm going to become so mushy sweet I'll give myself diabetes. Not a good thing. I don't do shots well. I hate shots as a matter of fact. Which is why I'm willing to put up with the pain in my heel due to a bad achilles tendon instead of getting another cortisone shot. They hurt! So, I'm gonna have to curb the ultra nicey-nice and get a little bitter sarcasm back. Just a little. Just enough to stave off self-inflicted diabetes.
The boy goes back to Detroit Tuesday. He's looking forward to it. He's become so 'city-fied' that being out in the country is driving him bonkers. Besides that, he's missing his friends a lot. When he comes back, in the summer, we've told him he can bring a friend along. Then again, he may not be able to come down for any length of time this summer... he'll have to do summer school so he can graduate on time, he's wanting to get a job so he can afford gas to be able to drive (taking phase II driving class when he gets back, then he'll be able to get his license by the end of January). Oh! Speaking of driving; particularly HIS driving, lol... I let him drive a couple times... he cruised thru a 4-way stop barely slowing down (guess he figured since he stopped when the car in front of him stopped and nothing was coming, he could just go ahead and go), then he pulled into the wrong drive way and to get to the right drive he had to cross a small parking lot, which meant navigating between a parked truck and a couple poles... well, he didn't turn the wheel when I thought he should have, so turned it for him, which really pissed him off (rather have him pissed off at me than smashing the truck). "Now I remember why I hate driving with you!" Oh well, I can live with it.
We went to see "A night at the museum". OMG! Go see it!! It is a funny, laugh-out-loud movie. Definitely Ben Stiller's best. There's Stiller, and Owen Wilson, and Robin Williams, and a monkey, and the dinosaur! The dinosaur is hillarious!! Dick Van Dyke, Mickey Rooney. The cavemen. The Easter Island statue!! Lordy! Now, that's funny, I don't care who you are! I am definitely buying it when it comes out on DVD. And I'll probably watch it over and over until I have the entire movie memorized, lol. It is that good.
Well hell. I've begun to ramble. Hmm. Go figure.
Resolutions. Should I make any? I never stick to them. However, there is one I am definitely going to make and keep. DIET SODA. Must go back to drinking it. I've gained at least 10-15 pounds since switching back to regular. I don't want to buy bigger clothes and the ones I have are fitting a bit snug. Uncomfortably snug. I'm losing my jawline on my face! My neck starts at the tip of my chin! This must come to an end!
Oh, one more resolution, which really isn't a resolution, but I'm gonna put it on the list anyhow. I'm tired of long hair. Time to get it cut. Just not sure how I want it. But it's time for a change.
So, that's about it for now. Y'all have a safe, healthy new year. Catch ya then! December 27 No, you don't have to play, you're not tagged, but you can if you wantHoliday Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? 2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? 3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? 4. Do you hang mistletoe? no 5. When do you put your decorations up? usually Thanksgiving weekend 6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
7 1/2. WORST HOLIDAY MEMORY AS A CHILD: big ol' fight at my Grandma's house one Christmas Eve 8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
with bulbs and beads and bows and ribbons 11. Snow! Love it or dread it? 12. Can you ice skate? no, but I'll bet I can fall pretty amusingly 13. Do you remember your favorite gift? corny as it sounds... my favorite gift was getting to spend it with B 14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? 15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
17. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? 19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? 20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? yum, but like with candy corn, they're only good at the holiday December 16 Jingle Bells and .. whatever
A few minutes ago I had a Poltergeist moment. Thought maybe the ghost from my old house had come with me. I was sitting here, minding my own business, and the television came on. By itself, seemingly. For just a moment I was a little nervous. Then I went into the other room and found the dog laying on the remote. Whew. Now, why couldn't he have remembered to record Battlestar for Bryan last night when we were out??? He obviously knows how to turn the TV on. We went over to Bryan's dad's last night. His brother and sister-in-law were in town and were going to be there. Bryan didn't really want to go, but I wanted to meet them. Wasn't quite what I expected; think I was expecting a small meltdown or something, lol. When we were introduced his brother stood up to shake my hand and said "Hi, I'm Carl. Hate me yet?" I replied, "Nope." He said "Give it time." He's funny, but not nearly as funny or cute or adorable as Bryan, and I mean that in a quite objective way. No bias from me, lol.
Alex is nervous about flying down. It's almost funny. He's flown before, when we went to Florida, and we had to switch planes then. This time it's nonstop from Detroit to St Louis, and Mr Wonderful will be there to make sure he gets on the right plane and all, and I'll be here to make sure he doesn't get lost at this airport. Not to make light of what happened, but he said "what if some crazy hi-jackers take over the plane and run us into the trade centers?" I said "not like that can happen now." So he asked "What if they run us into the Detroit Zoo? Do you think my spirit could go on if bears were killed?" So I told him since it wouldn't be his fault, him and the bears would bond. Kids! Geesh!
While I was looking at the archives from last December, also took note that I had posted some horror scopes for this year. Um.. none of them were true, except in bits and pieces, but still think I'll look around and see what the psycho's predict for this year, lol. Cause I'm like that.
the pictures I've added in the photo album were taken at a park in O'Fallon. They're blurry because they were taken at night and I don't have a really cool expensive camera.. or maybe I should have turned the flash off. Anyway, it was way way cool! The entire park is decorated and you drive thru it. This will definetly become a yearly tradition for us, yep yep yep.
December 13 hoodathunk?
I was just thinking how much different this holiday season is from last year. At least how I feel about it. And it amazes me that though I've literally lost so much, this whole year, and the holiday season in particular, is so much better than the last. As far as material things go, it's pretty lean, yet I feel like I have so much more. Last year I was living a life I wanted no part of. I was working what felt like non-stop and detesting every minute of it. I wasn't happy at home, I wasn't happy at work... I just wasn't happy. I knew there had to be a light at the end of the tunnel, but I couldn't even find the tunnel! It was like I was in some dark void that was slowly but surely sucking the life right out of me. This year... this year is unbelievable. If I wasn't living it, I wouldn't think it was possible. It's a complete 180 turn. Despite the obstacles and other bullshit life is throwing at me, I'm happier than I ever thought or imagined I could be. I'm happy. I really enjoy going to work, I like all the people I work with and even 70% of the customers, lol. I like what I do. Usually there's at least one person you don't really get along with at work, even if you work alone, lol. I get along with everyone and they all at least seem to like me. We do alot of hugging... it's like family. Or maybe better than family, because we don't have to deal with each other outside of work, lol. Anyway, it's probably the best working conditions I've ever been part of. And my home life... OMG! I look forward to coming home now. I enjoy being at home. There are, of course, aspects of my old life I miss, but that doesn't detract from what I feel here now. I have become... me. I'm a middle aged goofball dork. I laugh alot. And if I'm home when Bryan gets home from work, I meet him happily at the door with a welcoming hug and kiss because not only have I missed him, but I'm thrilled he's home with me. I'd gotten so used to being bitter and almost viciously sarcastic (lol, Bryan might say I haven't totally lost the near-vicious sarcasm, but he's pretty good at the comebacks, so it's fun).. anyhow, it was so much a part of me that I thought for sure that was who I was. I knew, or at least felt, that the goofball dork who laughs at stupid things and allows her inner child to emerge was in there somewhere, but so oppressed that she'd never come out again; just a dream, a lost soul. I missed her, but had accepted that she was gone and wondered if she'd ever really existed. Anyway, despite the fact there are legitimate reasons I should probably be depressed and woeful and whatever, I just can't muster it. Seriously. There have been a couple things happen this month that will affect me for years to come but I just can't get worked up about it. I'm just too happy and content with my life to let some things get in the way. A year ago I didn't know Bryan existed. I had no idea that in just a few weeks something as innocent as looking at a blog on MSN and leaving a comment would lead to such a huge transformation in my life. Last year, 2005, had been such an emotionally draining year for me; I knew I had to make a change, but I never dreamt, never imagined, - wow! What a difference a year makes!
The snow is gone! We had at least 8'', but it's all gone now!! Yay!! No snow, no ice... just mud now. Not yay. And it's 55* right now as I type this. According to my weather forecaster, it's supposed to get up near 70* this weekend. Yippee!! Now, let's all keep our fingers crossed and pray that the snow and ice and nasty weather stays away until after the 21st... my boy is flying out of Detroit early that morning and I'd rather there not be any delays or reason for him to get the scarries, lol. He's flying alone and it's only his second trip on a plane.
December 07 But I'm not weird, not really...Susan tagged me for this survey. According to the rules, each player of this game starts with the "6 Weird Things About Me" list. Then the people who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read your blog! As I already explained to Susan, I don't think there are six weird things about me, but I'll try to think of some. Hmph... weird! As if! 1) I like sleeping in a very cool, almost cold, room... but I don't like being cold. 2) I'm not fond of housework, but I hate a messy house, so I force myself to clean. And try not to bitch too much about it. However, it does not bother me to be in someone else's house if it isn't clean (unless it's a pigsty and there's a chance of picking up a disease just by passing by an open door). 3) I enjoy being the center of attention, but I don't like big crowds. Or any crowds. I detest crowds. I avoid crowds. Crowds suck. 4) As Susan does, I have to fold my towels a certain way... and if they aren't folded the "correct" way, I refold them. However, this does not pertain only to them in the closet.. I have to have them hanging a certain way in the bathroom, too. Not so easy to accomplish when you don't live alone, lol. 5) I don't mind drinking warm soda. Sometimes I actually prefer it at room temperature. In the winter. In the summer I prefer it cold. But I don't really like ice cubes in my drinks unless I have a straw. and finally... with a little help from that guy I live with, whom I most whole heartedly love and respect and admire and blah blah blah... who will definitely be tagged with this since he's having little trouble coming up with six weird things about me (he's the one who brought up the warm soda thing and the one that follows...)... 6) sometimes, apparently, I eat like a pig and other times I barely eat at all. Not that I make noise or rummage around in my food, but that I eat ALOT. *he says another weird thing should be that I like Gene Simmons: Family Jewels. as if that makes me weird. hmph!* So, now I have to tag six people to do this. Well, this should be interesting. Coming up with six people who will do it, that is. Naturally, the first one is going to be Bryan. And I already know what one of them should be.. maybe two, lol. Now, five other victims... Leah, Kat, Rita, Caroldee, and Patty. There. Done. Not that I think any of you are weird or anything.. well, maybe a little.. you do stop in here on occasion, which isn't exactly the sanest thing you could do... but what the hell, I appreciate it. And I promise, this is the last time I'll do anything like this. This year. December 04 The A-Z stuffDon't know if Susan was referring to me in her entry or not, but I'm gonna assume she was just because I like doing these things. And this one is an alphabetical "who are you" kinda thing.
A. Available or Single--This makes no sense to me... if you're not single, does that mean you're available? Either way, I'm neither. B. Best Friend--Judy and Bryan C. Cake or Pie--depends... if the pie is my homemade apple crumb pie, then it's pie. if it's cake, then it has to be either chocolate with chocolate frosting or carrot with cream cheese frosting, both deeeelishus. D. Drink of Choice--Coke, but I really need to get back to Diet Coke. The pounds are coming back. E. Essential Item You Use Everyday--toilet paper, lol. Ha Ha Ha. oh, and I suppose you don't?? F. Favorite Color--brown G. Gummy Bears or Worms--Neither H. Hometown--hometown? like, where I grew up or where home is now? Mayville, MI is where I grew up. T***, MO is where home is now. I. Indulgence--enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon with B J. January or February--February... means spring is almost around the corner and summer isn't too far beyond that K. Kids and Their Names--Brandon and Alex L. Life is Incomplete without--- (as if anyone has to ask) -> Bryan and our kids M. Marriage Date?--when am I getting married? well, lol... need to get divorced first. or... is this asking what kind of dates married people go on? either way it's kind of a dumb question so let's change it to: Mixed drinks or beer? mixed drinks N. Number of Siblings--2-> older brother and younger sister O. Oranges or Apples--apples, preferably in a pie P. Phobias/Fears?--being someplace high that doesn't have a strong guardrail or fence of some kind Q. Favorite Quote?-- "no one can make you feel insuperior without your consent" R. Reason to Smile?-- life is good :) S. Season--Fall. the only downer is that it's followed by winter. T. Tag Three People--Kat, Rita, Caroldee (and anyone else who wants to play along) U. Unknown Fact about Me--oh please... I tell y'all everything. V. Vegetable you don't Like--most of them W. Worst Habit--smoking X. X-rays you've had--too many to list. almost everything has been x-rayed and looked at Y. Your Favorite Food?--Italian. Z. Zodiac Sign--born Taurus, but I think I'm a Taurus/Aries mix (was a 10 month baby) December 03 There was a mouse on the window ledge, tooAhhh... sigh of relief. Or maybe two or three sighs, just for the fun of it. The storm has passed, the sun came out, and most everyone can get out of their houses and out into the world again. Thursday we had the sleet. So much of it that the ground turned white and it piled up like snow. Except it wasn't snow. It was sleet. And it was slippery. And people couldn't get out. And the people that did get out had to be careful not to get into accidents. Then Thursday/Friday overnight, it snowed. And snowed some more. Hardly anyone got out Friday morning. I, however, was one of the few who did. Most generally I can get out no matter what the weather. I've only missed work one time due to weather, and that was years ago when Tuscola county flooded, and even then I tried to get to work. So, I got to work Friday. And I'm glad I did. Had to be one of the most fun days I've ever had working. When I got there, the third shifter was getting ready to leave and the other assistant manager was there to work for the day with me. Our other first shifter had called off... but then she came in a couple hours later (her son-in-law drove her). I walked in, all happy and ready for a good day - I tried to explain to my co-workers that it was going to be a good day because everyone was going to be in a fun, good mood. They thought I was nuts. But it's true...when snowstorms hit, everyone who stops into a convenience store is in a good mood... it's comraderie. We all get a sense of being in something together, of beating the weather, whatever. People laugh and joke and generally get along quite well. So, we had that going on. It was a very entertaining day. A MoDot truck got stuck on our road, was there for three hours waiting to get pulled out of the ditch. So, for three hours we heard lame jokes and the same line over and over "You know it's bad if the snow plow gets stuck, ha ha ha." The biggest entertainment came later in the morning when an 18 wheeler got stuck leaving the drive way and blocked the road out front. The big laugh was when these kids in a Bronco decided to pull him out. They hooked a chain to his front bumper and pulled... and pulled.. and pulled. The tires were burning and smoking and it sounded like the tranny was going to drop at any minute. They wouldn't give up. And to the surprise of all of us watching, they did move the truck. Yep, they did. . . right further into the ditch. That meant there was a little room behind the trailer for cars and trucks to sneak in behind, trying to get up the little hill into our parking lot. And it meant 90% of the attempts ended in the vehicle getting stuck. Both people scheduled for second shift that day called off. Thankfully, we got the shifts covered and neither of us assistants had to stay. Yay. Bryan didn't go to work that day. I had asked him to not go in. Number one: he has a 42 mile commute and the roads were all bad. Number two: he has bursitis or something in his shoulder and it was paining him real bad, enough that he didn't sleep the whole night, so I didn't think it would be a good thing for him to tackle the roads with a shoulder that wasn't 100%. He told me he was staying home and I felt better leaving. Then, at a little after ten that morning, he calls me and tells me he tried to go to work, but the truck was froze to the parking lot. He prides himself on being able to drive in any kind of weather (having been a delivery driver for a hundred and ten years) and it nearly killed him that he couldn't get out and was forced to play hookie all day. His words to me: "I feel trappped!" (must be said with a bit of whining in the tone of voice). I left work around 2 that afternoon. The main roads were much cleaner by then, but still not dry. I had to make a stop at the storage place to get our snow shovel. This was interesting,lol. There are like 4 rows of units where we rent a box. Ours is in the very back, the only row that isn't paved and has units on only one side. To get to it, you have to make a sharp left turn. There are poles on the right hand side. It was not totally cleared. It was barely clear, in fact. More like they did two swipes down the little road - one each way. So, I get back there okay, turn around in the snow, get the shovel, then make the attempt to get back out. I had called B to let him know I was okay, where I was, that I was leaving. I go to make the right hand turn to get out and I know I'm about to get stuck, so I hang up the phone. I got stuck. Got myself out, got stuck, did this at least four times in five minutes. It was fun, actually, lol.. finally I was able to maneuver the car/truck (still not sure what to call it and I've been driving it for three years, lol) up this other path on the other side of the poles, and I got out no problems. Before we moved in together, we had already decided that Friday nights are 'go out to dinner night'. It was a Friday. So, I get home, we shovel the sidewalk out front, then have to go over to his old house (the Storm was not home) because he needs to see his oldest son about something. We pull in the drive way, he gets out of the car and goes to talk to his sons... his grandson is outside too. The grandson comes over to the car to talk to me (me, him, and two of his sisters had become quick buddies at Walmart just a few days earlier) and tells me I can go inside because "Grandma's not home". I laughed and told him that if Grandma had been home I wouldn't even be in the driveway. He kinda chuckled and agreed. He's thirteen. So I go inside. The two youngest granddaughters come running to me and give me hugs and start chatting up like only ten year old girls can do (they're nine and ten). B's daughter was there, of course, but I could tell she wasn't sure what to make of me or how to act. She hasn't had the chance to really be around me yet. A few minutes later when we were leaving, I got a hug from his 18 year old son (lol, I told him to come here so I could hug him and he sighed and said "Ookkaayy" in an eyore kind of manner). Then the youngest grandgirls gave me a group hug and B's daughter joined in. Out in the car, Bryan smiled and said "And the Storm will never know about this. It's like it didn't happen.Not a single one of them will mention we were even here." That was just a sidenote because I get a kick out of B's grandkids and wish I could get to know his kids better. It'll happen. All takes time. Anyhow, we decide to stop at Walmart. We get there and the parking lot is a disaster. Like it hasn't been touched by a plow. We don't stop. It's still kind of early, but we're hungry. And it's Friday. We decide to go to the next town south of us since the not-quite-a-freeway is pretty clean by now. However, once we get there we don't see any restaurants that appeal to us so we decide to go into the city where he works his second job. This means getting on I-70. It was a mess! But, we persevere. We're hungry and have made the decision to eat at Texas Roadhouse. We get there a half hour after they've opened so even tho the parking lot looks full (and we were able to get a spot right in front of the door, woo hoo!) there's no line. B comes around to my side of the car to open my door (another thing we agreed on before moving in was that he gets to open doors for me, and I love it!) and he warns me to be careful because it's quite slippery. He takes my hand as we cross the lot to the door "if I fall, you're coming with me" he chuckles and I thank him for his consideration. We're like that, looking out for each other, lmao. After dinner we went to the Walmart nearby the restaurant. The parking lot was clear. We picked up what we went in for, picked up a couple books, then I wandered over to the purses. Bryan moaned and I told him to go look at tools or something. Less than two minutes later I get a text message on my phone: are you done yet? LOL... the funny thing was that I was done! I found what I wanted. Then I had to go find him. I tried calling but he was in the electronics dept and his phone didn't have service. Go figure. Anyway.... it was a fun day. Despite the weather. Or, perhaps, because of the weather. Sometimes the worst brings out the best. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Before going to work Saturday we got B's truck unstuck from the parking lot, he fixed my windshield wipers (which, in case I forgot to mention, were completely frozen Friday morning), and not only did I get the tree up and decorated, but all the boxes are out of the living room and packed away neatly in the spare room. Life is good. Soon as he wakes up we're making a trip to the store, then I'm going to spend a part of the afternoon baking cookies. Yep, this most definitely is a much better holiday season this year! |
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